[HMG] – For those feeling deprived by their late-night lack of Coco, we have good news – Conan O’Brien has just announced a 30-date nationwide tour.

Beginning on April 12 and featuring both Conan and late-night foil Andy Richter, “The Legally Prohibited From Being Funny On Television Tour” will open in Eugene, Oregon and go on to brighten thirty different cities in both the US and Canada.

Temptingly billed as “A night of music, comedy, hugging and the occasional awkward silence,” the first news of the upcoming party was announced by Conan himself via Twitter;

“Hey, Internet: I’m headed to your town on a half-assed comedy & music tour…I repeat: It’s half-assed, “ he tweeted.

Under the terms of his recent eviction Conan is forbidden to appear on TV until September at least. But he seems pretty sure he’s made the right choice;

“It was either a massive 30-city tour or start helping out around the house” O’Brien explained in a press release.

And after being almost silent since he joined the service on February 24, Conan’s Twitter feed is now buzzing with news of the tour and the extra dates being added to cope with demand.

“Good news: Just added second shows in San Francisco, Seattle, Vancouver, and LA. Bad news: Still no show in Guam. “ he just tweeted to his feathery fan-base of over 600,000.

But there will be some bitter memories – The LA Times says the tour is booked to stop at Universal Studios on April 25 — On the very same lot as the $25-million studio where he hosted the show.  Also apparently O’Brien isn’t making a single cent off this comedy tour as sources tell TMZ that CoCo is doing the whole thing so he can employ his former “Tonight Show” staff. Roughly 40 people have been hired to work on the production — many of whom are “Tonight Show” alums.

If you fancy some tickets – and you’ll need to move quick – TeamCoco.com is now sharing them out…

[HMG] – After playing Sgt. John Munch on NBC’s solid hit, ‘Law and Order,’ actor Richard Belzer almost found himself on the wrong side of justice after an incident at an Apple store in Manhattan.

A store employee, Milan Agnew, 21, claims the 65-year old actor marched into the Upper West side showroom yesterday, grabbed her by the shoulders and barked, ‘I need help.’ The clerk later called 911 and filed a complaint with the NYPD.

Allegedly ‘too upset’ to talk to the press, Agnew drafted her grandma to speak in her place;

“She told me, ‘He didn’t just touch me, he choked me,’ ” Anita McKnight told the News. “My granddaughter is just 5-feet-2 and an aspiring dancer, and she doesn’t have much body to her. Where does this man come off putting his hands on her?”

And despite the fact she only filed a complaint accusing Belzer of ‘harassment’ [a minor violation,] Granny told the press the apparent victim was “angry” the L&A star wasn’t slapped with assault charges by the Police.

Witnesses say Richard was seen pacing up and down by the store for several minutes, clad in his trademark black clothes and dark glasses, and walked in and out of the store three times before the alleged incident occurred.

“If it was one of us, we’d be locked up right now,” says eyewitness, Jonathan Fox.

Officers from the NYPD later questioned the actor, but no charges were brought. Having told them he was “just joking,” the Connecticut-born star was later seen waving to fans and shaking hands with the crowd.

And the ‘aspiring dancer’ blew her fifteen minutes and had to go back to work…

[HMG] – In news that will see legions of male teenage TV fans doing cartwheels in their basements, the divine Keri Russell has just joined a new show.

‘Wilde Kingdom,’ a new Fox comedy pilot developed by the tangled minds behind ‘Arrested Development’ and starring Will Arnett is now in preparation, and the delightful Ms. Russell has just signed on as the love interest.

The show – if it makes it that far – will concern a rich, self-centered millionaire, Steve Wilde (Will), who becomes hopelessly smitten by a kind humanitarian who inadvertently crosses his path.

This will be Keri’s first time back on the small screen since her four-year run as ‘Felicity’ closed in 2002. The suits at the networks have been trying to lure her back ever since but Keri has focused on her movie career until now.

However, a source close to the 33-year old actress tells EW her reluctance to return was overcome by the script;

“If the right project came along she would consider it,” says the pal. “It all comes down to the material.”

Written by the people who brought us ‘Arrested’ and having already persuaded Mr. Arnett to sign on, that’s gotta be some 5-star material, don’t you think?…

[HMG] – Andy Whitfield, who plays the mythical lead in the Starz breakout hit, ‘Spartacus: Blood and Sand’ has been diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin lymphoma, and production has been halted at once.

Detected during a routine medical check-up required for insurance before the show’s second season began shooting later this month in New Zealand, the 38-year old actor is said to be in minimal danger as the disease was caught early and treatment at this stage has proven highly successful.

“I’m receiving excellent care, and am feeling strong, positive and determined, with an army of support behind me.” Andy has since told reporters.

And this awful news comes just two months after Michael C. Hall got the all-clear from his brush with Hodgkins. But the cable network is standing four-square behind Andy;

“Our thoughts and prayers are with Andy,” Chris Albrecht, President and CEO of Starz told the Huff Post. “His health, of course, is our primary concern, and he has our complete support during this difficult time.”

Non-Hogkin Lymphoma is caused by abnormal growth in the body’s white blood cells. The range of treatments include radiation, chemotherapy and in some cases even stem-cell transplant is used. Around 65,000 people develop the disease every year in the US alone, and the survival rate is over 80%.

We all wish Andy the best in his treatment…

[HMG] – Since making its debut in November of 2001, the Kiefer Sutherland real-time action drama, 24 has been an international hit and a solid bet in the ratings. But now it seems Fox is ready to wind down the clock.

In its innovative nine-year run the series was a constant success with both public and critics, but the ratings are sliding and costs are going up, so the suits at Fox are expected to make this season 24’s last.

The final, fateful decision will probably be made by the end of this week.

Insiders say the network is considering leasing the series to other networks, but given the high cost of production the reaction to that plan from their rivals would be luke-warm at best.

But 24’s fans need not despair – Jack Bauer may disappear from your TV screen, but it’s highly likely he’ll be back on the big one;  Kiefer and the ‘24′ team have been making plans for a movie for years, but while the show was in production those plans were a dream. If the ax does fall they can make the dream real.

Fox already has a draft script that takes Bauer to Europe, and the suits at the network apparently love the idea..

And it’s not like the show’s long run has been unrewarded – 24 has won 7 Emmy’s, two Golden Globes, a Producers Guild Award, four SAG statuettes and even the 2004 ‘Royal Television Society Award’ from the very picky Brits.

As we said, this may still come to nothing. But Variety says costs are rising and the audience isn’t, so the chances of stopping this clock are depressingly high.

We’ll keep you informed if or when the decision appears…

[HMG] – In another sad case of mindless extortion, Robert Halderman, the CBS producer who tried to steal $2-million from Late Show host, David Letterman over a screenplay has just pleaded guilty and faces six months in jail.

Halderman, 51, a former ‘48 Hours’ producer, was expected to speak for several minutes at today’s hearing and finally admit to extorting the late night host over his affair with Halderman’s girlfriend, 35-year old Stephanie Birkitt.

To recap, last October Halderman saw David and Stephanie making out in the drive of her home. He then wrote a ’screenplay’ about a talk-show host who slept with female employees and tried to sell it to Dave for $2-million. The cops promptly set up a sting and the incompetent crook was arrested as he tried to cash the fake check.

Today, Halderman faced a judge in Manhattan’s Supreme Court and copped a plea to second-degree larceny. He was  then sentenced to six months in jail, 1,000 hours of community service and four-and-a-half years probation.

With good behavior he should only serve sixteen weeks behind bars.

People who know Halderman tell the Post his crime was largely driven by his ex-wife moving their children to Colorado, the extremely high monthly child support he was then ordered to pay, and the fact that his girlfriend – despite swearing to him there was no affair – was still eagerly sleeping with her married CBS boss.

After the arrest in October, Dave shocked his Late Show’s fans by admitting not only the blackmail, but also that he had slept with other unmarried staffers.

“No, I’m not having sex with any staff members currently,” he said bluntly. “You can’t be victimized by criminals.”

Today, with the case now concluded, the 61-year old host released a brief statement;

“I would like to thank the District Attorney of Manhattan, the former DA, the Special Prosecutions Bureau and the NYPD,” it reads. “When they became involved I had complete faith that a just and appropriate result was inevitable. On behalf of my family, I am extremely grateful for their tireless efforts.”

Halderman  is now expected to begin serving his sentence sometime in May. The adulterous girlfriend, however, faces no blame at all…

[HMG] – In the first interview since their boss, Michael Jackson was found dead on June 25, his three bodyguards have recalled some truly sad times in the superstar’s life;

Prior to his untimely loss, the 50-year old Jackson was preparing a comeback in London. But before that he called a rented Las Vegas mansion his home, and the guards – Mike Garcia, Bill Whitfield and Javon “BJ” Beard – told ABC’s  ‘Good Morning America’ MJ’s favorite things were being with his children, cruising the strip and ordering fast food from a drive-thru.

But Jackson’s home life, they said, was ‘isolated and lonely.’ One example was a birthday party for one of the children. Only their teacher, their nanny and the three guards could attend – No other child was allowed.

The three were hired by Michael in 2007,  and the connection soon became close; “We were with Michael Jackson the person, not the entertainer,” said Garcia.

They also explained the surgical mask Michael so often wore was not to hide new surgery, it was just a disguise. But they never asked about it too much;

“He’s coming down with the kids and we can’t say, ‘What the hell you got on, sir?’” said Beard. “How could you ask him that?”

As for the children, the men described them as ‘polite and well-mannered,’ and the link between them and their dad as being very close;

“The kids were constantly saying, ‘I love you, Daddy’…They were like four buddies,” Garcia told the host.

But there were also moments of fun – Like when the three tried to trick their minders into getting them illicit Oreos.

“Sometimes they’d say things like, ‘Bill, Daddy wants you to go get some cookies for us,’” Whitfield recalled, grinning.

On more serious topics the men were asked if their boss ever behaved in a way that suggested the 2005 charges of child molestation against him were actually true. The reply was brief and emphatic — In unison, all three said “No.”

“Being a man…Men know men…And we were around him long enough to know – he was a man,” explained Whitfield.

The three said their boss had at least two girlfriends they knew of, and that they sometimes like chaperones for two teenagers on a first date.

“In the cars we had a curtain that covered the back seat…You couldn’t see in,” Whitfield said. “They talked back there…they didn’t do nothing out of bounds. You can hear all the kissing.”

Michael died on June 25 from a lethal, but apparently accidental mixture of prescription medications, plus the powerful anesthetic, Propofol. He was laid to rest on September 3rd at the Forest Lawn cemetery on Glendale, California.

His beloved children, meanwhile, now share a home with their grandma…